Monday, January 23, 2006

After a long interview with the Mother I am able to post the answers to my questions. They were not satisfactory.

Why is there a dog in my home?

Because I wanted someone to go on walks and car rides with me.

What possessed you to get a dog?

Do you know any cats who would like to go on walks or rides in the car?

What have I done to deserve a dog?

Badness! Don't make me squeeze your head! This decision had nothing to do with you or Scrappy and Tucker. Other than I know you don't like rides in the car. And you wouldn't be caught dead with a leash on you.

What will I do to you if you keep the dog?

Don't make me squeeze your head.

Why do I have a little brother?

Because I fell in love with him before I found a dog.

Why is he so annoying?

That is what little brothers are all about; irritating their big sisters. Its good for you. He has helped keep you slim and trim.

Why can't you feed me moist food all the time?

Because you need a more balanced and rounded diet that just stinky goodness all the time. Besides you get bored with it after awhile.

I do not!

You are already burying the new brand of stinky goodness that we switched too only two weeks ago! The stuff you initially loved! Remember?

Oh yeah.

Why don't you clean out the boxes more often?

I will work on it. Tucker does leave WMDs behind doesn't he? He is a very stinky boy.

Why can't I go outside?

How many times to we have to have this discussion Badness. I don't want anything to happen to you. Outside is a dangerous place for kitties. Dogs, bugs, diseases. All kinds of bad things can happen to kitties outside.

Why are you so annoying?

Do you want to eat stinky goodness again?

Yes!

Then can it, pussy cat!

Why don't you leave the water running constantly for me?

Because we live in a desert, Badness. You will drain the acquifer if I leave the water running all the time just for you. Do you want that on your conscience? Water doesn't grow on trees. But I will turn it on for you when I am in the bathroom. Deal?

I guess.

3 Comments:

Blogger Derby said...

hehehe. Badness, you and your mum are funny. Mum doesn't keep the water on for me and we live near lots of water. Mum says I would have to pay for it, and since I have no money, guess it won't happen.

5:13 PM  
Blogger William said...

Badness, you gotta pose the water/desert question differently: If we run out of water many many cat lifetimes in the future, this would affect me how exactly?

7:24 AM  
Blogger Les Trois Chats said...

Badness, I'm afraid your mom is afflicted with a thing called "logic." We kitties do not want logical answers to our questions, we want our questions answered: "Oh yes, whatever you want, sweet little kitty cat" or some such. Too bad for you and me. However my Mom and boy are allergic to dogs (thank goodness), so I feel for ya' there.
~ moose

3:18 PM  

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